YOU'RE FREE

princessbrononoke: “Princess baby sorry my writingis so messy...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:14:26 -0400

“Princess baby sorry my writing
is so messy but my thumb hurts and it
won’t stop bleeding.
     I love you so much baby, you really
are the greatest thing that’s ever
happened to me. You really have no idea
how much I love you babe.
   I got some blood on this note, I hope
you don’t mind.
    You’re totally my best friend and
I’ll always be here for you no matter what.
I’ll love you more than anyone else will.
You mean the world to me.
      I can’t help but smile when
   I see you because I feel so lucky to
have somebody like you
I’m in so much love with you.
I can’t wait to marry you Princess
You really mean the world to me.
I’d do anything for you babe
You’re the most gorgeous person alive it’s
hard to believe you’re all mine.
I’m never going to leave you and
I hope you never leave me.
I’m in so much love with you.
     I love you Princess

                       -Anthony”

-

-

-Found this in the gutter while I was out one day, and it’s by far the coolest/creepiest/saddest thing I’ve ever found.-

cunttusion: Cassie and Sid :(

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:13:41 -0400

cunttusion:

Cassie and Sid :(

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Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:11:53 -0400

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Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:11:39 -0400

michaelbeara: sam: vondell-swain: adamusprime: vondell-swain:...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:10:15 -0400

michaelbeara:

sam:

vondell-swain:

adamusprime:

vondell-swain:

bad news apple

now im wondering why the hell i didnt make this joke

those aren’t even bees though they’re fucking wasps

thatfunnyblog: “lets hope so because everyone i met so far is a...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:07:51 -0400

thatfunnyblog:

“lets hope so because everyone i met so far is a bunch of cunts”

Funny Stuff you like?

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Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:06:16 -0400

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Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:05:45 -0400

attains: attains: if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims...

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:04:41 -0400

attains:

attains:

if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS

my mom made me go to a therapist because of this

tue-s-day: thedesignercraze: Omfg Donald I love youu

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 17:07:27 -0400

tue-s-day:

thedesignercraze:

Omfg

Donald I love youu

did-you-kno: Source

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 17:06:38 -0400

did-you-kno:

Source

Thug life

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 19:32:20 -0400

Thug life

pushedawayonetoomanytimes: I can’t stop watching this. Hahahaha...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 19:31:36 -0400

pushedawayonetoomanytimes:

I can’t stop watching this. Hahahaha :3

Pride 2013 nashville <3

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 23:26:55 -0400

Pride 2013 nashville <3

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Fri, 14 Jun 2013 02:39:56 -0400

"One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to..."

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 02:28:24 -0400

“One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.”

- Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via mydemisee)

Here, here!

(via secretdaddy)

oknope: wow

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 02:19:07 -0400

oknope:

wow

the-absolute-funniest-posts: laughfloor: How the Super Bowl...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 02:18:08 -0400

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

laughfloor:

How the Super Bowl blackout should have gone.

anacondom: pizzaforpresident: This video was super...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 02:17:26 -0400

anacondom:

pizzaforpresident:

This video was super entertaining for some reason

i couldnt turn it off

Genius!

I'd care if the person I reblogged this from committed suicide.

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 02:10:24 -0400